a hate poem

I wont lie.

I was scared,
doubtful,
unnerved,
I was out of my element out of my shell and yet,
I couldn’t care less.

I should've cared.

When its good, its orgasmic.
When its shit, I was disemboweled.

I'm distracted,
shredded,
skinned alive,
hurt.
It wasn't funny anymore.

I love you.

And,

I hate it.